This is a copy of a letter I recently received from a close friend who has been battling sleeplessness, hot flashes and just about every other symptom related to perimenopause.

Email subject: I’ll go to Disneyland with you but you have to bring your family along (to clean up the vomit)

Hi Chris

I bet I caught your attention with the subject matter of this email.

Well the story starts with a certain perimenopausal woman (me) and her endless attempts to get some sleep.

After trying almost everything (I have not yet consulted a voodoo doctor or psychic, that’s next on my list) I decided to try melatonin. I’m sure you have heard of it. It’s a pill you simply dissolve under the tongue before you go to bed. So I gave it a try. I can’t believe how quickly I go to sleep! I told Rob I now know what it feels like to be him (lucky bastard..I mean my lucky darling husband).

I am now sleeping most of the night. I only wake up a few times with hot flashes but fall back to sleep quickly .Wondering what this has to do with you and vomit? Well I have discovered that I am experiencing 3 of the side effects of meletonin.

1) Headaches-I wake up with whoppers. My brain (yes, believe it or not I have one) feels like it is going to pop out of my forehead.

2) Nightmares-I have always experienced these so I am kinda use to them now and I figure they are great subject matters for the horror books I am going to write. I’m always looking for ways to make money. Move over Stephen King!.

3) Bizarre Dreams-This is where you come into the picture. The other night I dreamt that you and I went to Disneyland (not Mike, not Anna-Marie, not Rob, not Savannah, just you and me). We arrived at our beautiful hotel and you informed me that you thought you were pregnant (a medical miracle!). Then you proceeded to vomit all over me!!! Now being the kind person that I am, my immediate thought (in my dream) was,” Oh this is going to be reeeal fun. I get to spend a week riding on Disney rides with Chris puking all over me.

What A wonderful friend I am! No, my immediate thought was not, “OMG I better quickly get Chris to a doctor, she’s really sick.”

So the awake Barb is apologizing to you for the asleep Barb’s behavior. However, just to be on the safe side if we ever go to Disneyland, just remember …I’ll go to Disneyland with you but you have to bring your family along (to clean up the vomit)

Your “FRIEND”,
Barb